Don’t stare.  Don’t sing at the table.  Don’t make too much noise.  Don’t, don’t, don’t.

We grew up with so many rules in our lives.  These rules may have been appropriate at a certain age or time of our life, and may have served an intended purpose of protection, or maybe just upheld the values of our parents, or a judicious teacher.  However, as adults, we may be held back significantly in our life’s progress by the long-term effects of these rules.

What are some of the rules that are lingering from your past, that are not serving you today in the present?

How do we get rid of the rules that are holding us back from being the people that we desire to be?

1. Identification - When you have some time to sit quietly, start to think about your life, and notice some of the monkey-chatter that is going on in your mind.  If you are wondering what monkey-chatter is, you just heard it, as you thought, “What is monkey-chatter?”  You will notice that these chattering thoughts most often express judgments.  These judgments are the rules, beliefs or values that we have picked up along the way in our lives.  What are some of these judgments?  How do they impact your life?  Are they empowering you, or are they dis-empowering you?  As you are going through this exercise, identify just one rule that is really not serving you in the present.

2. Understanding - Where or how did this rule get created?  What was its purpose at the time?  Maybe you can’t remember the history of the rule. However, if that rule were to be completely cleared from your mind, now, would it have a positive impact in your life?

3. Choice - Choose now, in the present moment, that this is no longer a rule that you will be following.

4. Action - What specific action can you take that would be the opposite action of what this now-defunct rule would have dictated you take in the past? List a few actions that you can begin to take on for the next week.

5. Vision - Envision three different scenarios in the future in which you are no longer abiding by this rule.  See yourself in action, as if you were in a video.  What are you wearing?  What are you doing? What colours do you see?  See the video moving around, capturing your actions.  How does this make you feel in the future?  With these thoughts, you are now creating a powerful future that will pull you forward and give you the motivation to make this vision a reality in your life.

6. Repeat - Pick a time each day for the next 21 days at which you can take a few moments and see this “future you”, and reflect on the progress that you are making.  It takes 21 days of consistently repeated activity to break a habit, and 21 days to create a habit, too.

7. Celebrate - You are on your life’s journey, and you are taking steps to create the dream life that you desire.  This transformation will not happen overnight, but you can point your direction towards it in the blink of an eye.  Before you know it, you will be looking back, and your monkey-chatter will be saying “Hey…. you are a powerful person that can do anything, when you set your mind to it!”

Coaching can be a powerful tool to help you to uncover and identify these self-limiting beliefs, and to show you why it is important to remove them from your life. Coaching assists in creating actions and steps to make the difference, and provides the structure to ensure that results are produced.

Breakthrough and Fly!

Michael, Toronto Life Coach